I want to hate you, and to wish nothing but monumental heartbreak upon you. But I can't. Despite how badly I was hurt, I still want nothing but the best for you. You did me so wrong... It really wasn't fair how things ended. How could you build someone up so high, just to let them go? Did you not know what the words you said meant? Were you not used to a partner willingly opening himself completely to you? I was all in; I was ready to commit myself to a lasting relationship with you. I wanted to take this as far as we could. Did that scare you? There was no rush, just unbridled excitement and optimism toward a future with you.
Now here we are, dating other people, and I can't help but feel as though I'm lying to her and to myself. I want you, still. After all the pain, after all the suffering. There's still so much love for you in my heart, and it's disingenuous of me to try and fill it with feelings for someone else. I am at a loss of what to do, and it drives me insane.