She can tell herself whatever she wants in order to move on, but we both know what we had wasn't infatuation. She is no liar, and I always choose honesty: with myself & with others. We were in love, and the only reason we aren't together now is because she couldn't handle the undue pressure placed upon us & was fearful of being hurt. We should have waited for the dust to settle, but we didn't. We were impatient.
I always knew she was special, but after three months of dating I discovered that she could possibly be the woman of my dreams. Every day spent with her, it became clearer & clearer that we could absolutely have a bright future together. Her eyes were so telling, and her words rang so true in my heart.
"I love you, Justin."
"I never dreamt of being this lucky."
"You're everything I've ever wanted."
I refuse to believe any of this was said in the moment. I refuse to believe she didn't mean any of it. I still yearn for that future we saw together. I want to try again more than anything. Giving up, especially on love, is something I wish I could do. My life would be so much easier. This emptiness would not exist in my soul, and these torturing thoughts would not cloud my mind.
My only hope is that one day she'll realize that giving up on us was wrong; that the love we had and the bond we shared was real. I have so much love to give, and highly doubt she's going to find someone capable of caring for her more than I do.
We deserve a real chance, free of fear & uncertainty. If we fail, we fail. But it'll be on us. That's all I want, and I'll wait for it.